I’m in Rhode Island, and while we’re aren’t being ordered (yet anyway) to shelter in place, nor am I quarantined, I am doing my best to stay home and avoid social situations.

As an introvert, I’ve been training for this my entire life.

Seriously though, I have ranged between overwhelming anxiety and a feeling normalcy – when things are far from normal.

What I’m saying is that I vacillate between feeling as if I might be overreacting and I might be under reacting. It’s this surreal place where I honestly have no clue what I am “supposed” to be doing. I think what I am doing constantly is that I am simply reacting to a situation I never in my life though I’d be a part of.

Honestly, I have to push aside the feeling of terror that my husband or someone else I love might catch Covid-19 and die. When I have those thoughts I think I’m just being dramatic or stupid, but isn’t that a reality of this virus? People are dying from it.

A virus is the great equalizer. It doesn’t care who you are, how much money you have, or really anything. It’s a virus.

I’m not trying to make anyone else feel anxious or panic, and if I have done that, I’m sorry. The fact is that this is an unprecedented situation and I wonder what things will look like after it’s all over (because, it will end). History shows us that people will be nervous at first to resume normal life, and eventually they will forget about it entirely. Ultimately, I doubt much change will come from this. But time will tell on that front.

Right now, I am just doing whatever I can to react in a way that seems resonable and sane. I am trying to not overreact, but to also not under react.

A calm moment a few years ago.

Photo by JL Metcalf – Roger Williams Park

I saw something today on social media that basically said that you should act under the assumption that you are already infected, and your behavior should then reflect you doing whatever you can to avoid spreading it to others.

I think too that people should come together (in a socially distant way of course), share resources where they can, and basically act like members of the human community.

Let’s not allow this to divide us. Let’s allow this to bring us all closer together.


Published by jessicaleemetcalf

JL Metcalf lives in the Ocean State with her artist husband Frankie, and their artistic black cat Shadow. She one day hopes to live in a Hobbit Hole surrounded by her friends and family in the Shire making jams and jellies, while also writing many leather-bound books. She has self-published four novels: The Last Daughter of Lilith, Coming Undone: Musings on Life, Love and Hobbits, Menagerie of the Weird, and the sequel to Last Daughter of Lilith, called Dawn Seed. JL can be found on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

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