Where do I even start? 

So much has been written since Election Day that there probably isn’t much I can contribute that you can’t search out on Google yourself. 

I think for me, what has impacted me the most was how much this one hurt. I thought when Trump was first elected, that that would be the most painful experience on an Election Day I ever felt. That evening in 2016 I felt sad, depressed, and as if evil had won.

It sounds like hyperbole, but it felt as though people chose hatred over kindness. 

I never loved Hilary Clinton. I never found her to be the right candidate, but she was better than the pussy grabbing racist jerk that was elected. She didn’t spew hatred and division. She wasn’t an agent of chaos. 

But in these last four years I have had a lot of time to process. And, in the end, Trump wasn’t the president we wanted, but he was the president we deserved (to paraphrase Batman). He was the light that allowed the moths (aka, hatred filled monsters) to come out and gather around him. To help sew division and hatred. As well as death.

Trump showed us that no matter how much we deluded ourselves, hatred was alive and well in America. That this nation is deeply divided, and that chaos exists. 

As I write this, Biden is on the cusp of being elected president, but not by the huge margin we had hoped. Not by a “Blue Wave,” and not by a huge margin.

This is no victory. This is a win, but it is the definition of bittersweet. 

Over 70 million people voted to give Trump another four years to be president. 

Let that sink in. People in states where COVID-19 has had some of the highest rates of infection and death, overwhelmingly voted for Trump: the man who has been recorded as saying he knew what was happening and did nothing.

He did nothing and allowed millions to become sick and die. 

My heart hurts. My soul is weary.

While I am joyful to not have to see Trump’s bloated, smug face on my newsfeed (once he is gone), I am saddened by what’s divided a country that should be great. A country that should be comprised of American’s, not red or blue states, but humans caring for and loving one another. 

Maybe this is naive. And that’s okay. 

The Winner Is…

As I was typing this, CNN, The AP and other outlets confirmed Joe Biden and Kamala Harris have won Pennsylvania, and have thus won the election.

My heart is bursting with joy. I keep crying. I’m shaking.

I feel as though I can finally breathe. The nightmare is ending. I wonder if humanity has reignited my faith in them (time will tell). 

As Glennon Doyle says in her (amazing book) Untamed, “We can do hard things.”

Well, America, we did something hard. We are all stronger for it. And we can help this world change.

There is more hard work ahead. More hard things we’ll have to do. Biden as president won’t change the hatred that lives in the soul of this country, but I am hopeful he can help us all turn towards light and away from darkness.

The Day(s) After

It’s been a few days since Joe Biden won the election. Since I managed to not cry every time I see President-Elect Biden in the news.

I won’t lie, it has been an emotional few days. Knowing that we will have a woman in the White House makes my heart leap every time I think about it. This is huge folks. This is the world I want to live in.

But, we have many days left of Trump in office, where he can and most likely, will, do some damage. But it’s all damage that can be fixed. 

Trump is not a dictator. He lost fair and square — regardless of what he and his people say.

It would have been so refreshing to see him do something against what was expected. To see him bow out gracefully and show America he is better than he seemed.

He has done none of that. 

A week from the election and he is angry and vindictive. His sycophantic followers, like Barr, Pompeo and McConnell, are falling in lock-step with Trump and saying he has “Every right” to contest the results. And while that may be true, he is hurting America with every angry Tweet and ludicrous lawsuit.

He is hurting all of us by not simply conceding an election that, by all intents and purposes, he lost.

These are strange times we live in, and they get stranger by the day.

But I have hope that I haven’t had in over 4 years. I have hope that no matter what Trump tries to pull in these next couple of months, he won’t succeed. That, come January 20th, 2021, Joe Biden and Kamala Harris will be in the White House. It won’t fix everything that’s wrong, but it’s a damn good start.

Feeling that hope is good. Let’s keep that alive. 

Let’s laugh. Let’s dance. Let’s be joyful.

2020 has been damn hard, but we’ll get through it, because we now know that there are more of “us” than there are of “them.” We now know that hate is not all there is.

We are together in this folks. Let’s keep fighting the good fight.

Let’s laugh a little, together.

Published by jessicaleemetcalf

JL Metcalf lives in the Ocean State with her artist husband Frankie, and their artistic black cat Shadow. She one day hopes to live in a Hobbit Hole surrounded by her friends and family in the Shire making jams and jellies, while also writing many leather-bound books. She has self-published four novels: The Last Daughter of Lilith, Coming Undone: Musings on Life, Love and Hobbits, Menagerie of the Weird, and the sequel to Last Daughter of Lilith, called Dawn Seed. JL can be found on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

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